My Biggest Inspiration: María Dolores González

by Carlos Balbuena

Carlos-Balbuena María Dolores GonzálezMy name is Carlos Balbuena González. I’m from México City and I want you to meet my mom: María Dolores González Aguilar. She was the most amazing person I’ve ever met and I had the privilege of having her as a mother. Being her son is the best thing that ever happened to me because of what she taught me.

Importance of Family

My mother taught me the importance of family and the value of sacrifice. She was an incredibly hard-working person. When her mother died, she cared for her father, who had Alzheimer’s. It was a challenging task and she did everything and even a little bit more for him. I admire her dearly because, at the same time she was taking care of him, she was also able to manage a business, take care of the house, and take care of me and our three dogs. She did everything to provide and educate us. She did it all for her family. 

My mother always encouraged me to be myself and this taught me to be my authentic self. Maria Dolores Gonzalez was not a regular mom. She always talked to me upfront about everything and she always inspired me to pursue my dreams. I vividly remember her saying that I should study something that made me happy rather than something profitable. She constantly encouraged me to do the things that I liked rather than the things I dreaded. She taught me I must be myself and never try to shape myself to be likable. My mom shaped my world and my vision of it. 

She Always Listened

Carlos Balbuena and mother

She taught me that you don’t need someone’s validation or a title to prove your worth. Mom was everyone’s person to go to when they felt sad or they needed advice. She always listened to you without judging, and her advice was always pure gold. My mom was really smart and she could’ve done anything she wanted. Unfortunately, my grand-dad had the notion that women should not study since they were just going to be supported by a husband. She had to quit school soon after high school. Nonetheless, she excelled in all the jobs she had and became a fundamental part of them. When she died, the company where we worked together went down and it’s now sinking. She was the only one who was able to properly manage the business.

 

Besides being incredibly smart, she was also an incredibly giving person. My mom always worried about everyone else instead of herself. As we say here in México, she was the kind of person who would take the bread out of her mouth to give it to you. She died on February 19th of 2019. With her passing my world turned upside down. 

I’m very sad about her passing, but I’m really happy that I was able to meet her. There’s no day I don’t think about her. I carry a few her ashes near my chest in a necklace. Whenever the day gets too rough or I’m feeling down, I grab my necklace and think about what would she say or the advice she would give to me to make me feel better, and then, the pain fades away. 

 

María Dolores González Is My Inspiration

María Dolores González is not here anymore, but she’s still my biggest inspiration to move forward. I want to make her proud going forward and I know for sure she felt proud of me before she passed. She said it sometimes, but I want to succeed in life so I can be exactly what she wanted me to be: a good, decent, loving person, who is independent and self-sufficient. She shapes and will shape my world.

My mother knew I loved her with all my heart because we used to tell each other “I love you” often. So please, you can never be short on the “I love you’s.” If you love someone, let them know how much they mean to you. If you live with your mom, go to her room and give her a big hug for me. If you live by yourself, call your mom. It’s a good time to say to her that you love her and that you’re grateful for everything she’s done for you.

María Dolores González 2

 

Dealing with Uncertainty

by Leesa Truesdell

If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” – Paulo Coelho

Letting go…

I realize that our time in Spain has been rewarding yet challenging. We all set sail on this journey to spend the next year abroad with the hopes of embracing uncertainty at its best. We wanted to open our eyes to a new culture, a new language and a new way of life; while also teaching our students the language we know and love most. As I look forward, I see a bright future but I also see a great past for which I am grateful.

Different Stories

We all have different stories as to why we choose the paths we take in life. For those of us right here, right now in Spain, something(s) made us decide to take this journey. For me, my journey to go to Spain took some time to think over; but ultimately, my grandmother impacted my decision. She is very important to me because growing up it was her voice and her tales about the world that came to life in my bedroom before bedtime. My grandmother believed in me and she loved me during times when I didn’t know what love was. She taught me more about the world through her collections of memorabilia in her home than any textbook ever could.

It Is Not Easy to Say ‘Goodbye’

The more I travel for longer periods of time, the more I realize it is not easy to say ‘goodbye’ to loved ones back home. On the flip side, it’s also not easy to say ‘goodbye’ to the new friends that we make in our new destinations. Life is complicated and many times I question whether or not I am doing the right thing when it comes to a particular event or action in my life. I am sure we all do this from time to time. Those little questions come up, and often times we question our decisions. Just this past week, I had one of those moments.

I Will Never Forget

Here’s what happened: my grandma, who I affectionately call Tata, is ill. I had a pain in my heart that made me decide to call her. I picked up my phone and called. For those who are not aware, my grandmother was diagnosed this past year with dementia. The last time I saw her was not the best visit we had together and for anyone who has dealt or is dealing with a loved one who has this terrible disease you probably can understand some of the uncertainty I felt before I left her. ‘Over and over again, I contemplated in my mind, should I go to Spain or should I not go to Spain. What happens if Tata passes away and I am in Spain? These feelings I was feeling were and are still legitimate feelings but they are also feelings that she would not want me to have.’

“Leesa, I want you to be happy.”

One of the last conversations I had with her before she became unrecognizable was one where I could see her smiling and telling me, “Leesa, I want you to be happy.” I think about those 6 words constantly as I persevere through this journey. I think about the last time I saw her and how much she had changed into someone I didn’t know anymore. I realized that she is not even aware that I am traveling or living abroad. And, if I told her she would forget by tomorrow. At the end of the day, I remember what she told me two years ago and it was this: she told me she wanted me to be happy. Also, despite not knowing any of my future plans, she shared some of her happiest memories with me. They all involved destinations of travel.

Tata and me before my trip to Spain (2016
Tata and me before my trip to Spain (2016)

Dealing with Uncertainty, My Connection to Her Will Be Through My Writing

When I think of her each day, I realize that my connection to her will be through my writing. My grandmother is a sincere and thoughtful woman who raised me to be considerate and thoughtful too. I know my journey is a very personal one and dealing with uncertainty abroad will make me grow; I know Tata’s words are the fuel that keeps away the fear in order to embrace the change each day I am here. Therefore, in the weeks ahead, I want to showcase the journey of others and what this experience means to them. We all have a story, and for those who want to share theirs please contact me directly so we can learn about your journey and the experiences about to come.